Nothing is more important in our lives than our relationships. A great relationship boosts your immune system, opens your heart, and keeps you vital and creative.—Terry Real
What is Relationship Guidance?
This quote underscores one of the significant messages of our modern era. Healthy relationships are central to our well-being. From the moment of our birth to our death, if people who care are there for us, life is better. To be alone is to risk a host of physical and psychological ailments. To be stuck in unsatisfying painful relationships is a kind of emotional prison.
As a marriage and family therapist, I see these truths played out every day in my psychotherapy practice. From the absence of close relationships and intimacy to difficult, conflictual relationships; people struggle to fulfill this fundamental human need for good reason! They are keys to human happiness!
My work in relationship guidance fuses this knowledge about the centrality of relationships to our well-being with knowledge about the human energy field. Why is this a valuable approach? Because our relationships register in the body-mind energy system in a myriad of ways. How we “run our energy” impacts how we relate to others and how they relate to us. Difficult relationships often show up as blocks or imbalances within the person. Healthy, satisfying relationships stimulate the smooth flow of energy in the system (and yes, they also stimulate the immune system and are linked to living longer). It’s my experience that cultivating our energy and connecting with others allows a generous spirit to flourish that in turn, brings out the best both in ourselves and in those we care about.
Relationship energy healing places you in a position to embrace your energy and to learn how to use it to reach your relationship goals. The tools taught in relationship guidance helps promote both self-awareness and communication skills. It is through this acquired self-awareness and communication proficiency that one can increase the “contact” that is essential to developing intimacy and wholesome, satisfying relationships.
What is contact in relationships?
According to Barbara Brennan, a noted authority in energy healing and my principal teacher in this work, contact is about being undefended and receiving a person into your awareness. In other words, contact happens when two people are able to meet and experience one another with an open heart. It is a state of intimacy that doesn’t necessarily require physical touch but involves an exchange of energy and emotion. It turns out that when healthy, welcome contact is present in a relationship, it helps people feel positive, secure and safe which leads to greater intimacy, closeness and far more satisfying sex.
Unfortunately, many of us have been emotionally wounded in our past relationships, resulting in psychological defenses that were created to protect us from further emotional harm. As we go forward in our lives, we unconsciously bring these defenses with us, which in turn shapes our ongoing relationships in ways that can block us from experiencing the very contact and healthy, satisfying relationships we seek. In relationship energy healing, you will learn to identify these blocks and defenses and learn how to use your energy to dissolve them.
Two Types of Relationships
Relationship energy healing proceeds on two levels: cultivating a healthier, more satisfying relationship both with yourself and with others. Here are some of the elements involved in building a relationship with yourself:
- Embodying your worth
- Conquering self-doubt
- Forgiving yourself
- Loving yourself
- Appreciating and loving your body
- Learning to tune into yourself for guidance
- Leaning into your pleasure
- Knowledge of and comfort with who you are
Here are elements of building relationships with others:
- Learning to be empathetic
- Understanding and being able to receive another person’s truth
- Communication through assertiveness and active listening
- Asking for and granting forgiveness
- Developing compassion and the ability to open your heart
- Contacting another though your heart, without any defenses.
- Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries
- Building reciprocity; giving and receiving appreciation.
- Engaging in physical and sexual intimacy that is nurturing and enlivening
What will you experience in a relationship energy healing?
We will address your goals; how you want to feel about yourself and identify what’s getting in the way of doing so. We will strategize ways I can help you meet these goals. I’m there to be your partner in this process, your committed listener and your mirror. The psychological techniques I use will help us identify these core issues, whereas the energy techniques I use help strengthen neural pathways, balance, clear and charge your energy field, and release energetic blocks.
During a session, you lie on the massage table, fully clothed and relaxed. Energy work involves the placement of my hands on and around your body in order to access the human energy field. I’ll dialog with you and ask you questions during the treatment. That said, each session is different and each person’s process and emotional experience is unique to them.
Through energy healing, I may guide you to work with the areas of your energy system or your physical body associated with particular events that happened in your life. We may address your defense mechanisms – those mental acrobatic moves we make to avoid unpleasant feelings and anxiety – or we may work in reducing unwanted repetitive thoughts and harmful patterns of behavior. These practices can feel transformative and can usher in an emotional release.
Couples work with a significant other
With couples I directly incorporate my training as a couple’s therapist. I can either meet with you individually or as a couple, or initially meet with you individually and invite your partner into our sessions. The overarching goal is to increase intimacy and reduce the blocks and obstacles infringing on your relationship goals. This deepened intimacy increases your ability to have genuine contact with one another.
In the healing room I might have you sit in chairs facing each other and have you dialogue about an issue you are struggling with. That will give me an opportunity to observe your energy patterns, understand how past ruptures are effecting your relationship and how defenses are operating to restrict intimacy and communication. On that basis I can help you use your energy to alter problematic communication patterns and remove emotional blocks while identifying and healing old relationship wounds. The result? More open hearted, intimate contact and smooth flows of energy between you and your significant other.
To learn more, contact me for a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation.
“We need to see ourselves as basic miracles.”—Virginia Satir